Pearl

time machine

You may want to eat it now, its starting to melt.

No, its not!

Yes it is, one more blink and they’ll start slipping through your fingers.

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Hi everyone! today’s post is a particularly nostalgic one and it all started with a random thought. Back in 2009, when I had just entered secondary school, it was the norm to have 1. Friendster 2. MSN and 3. a blogspot. So basically EVERYONE had one. As our attention span got shorter, it became facebook, then twitter, then instagram then snapchat, where there is literally no repository and your past becomes the past in 24 hours. Crazy huh?

When I first started this blog, my idea was to kinda have this online site where i could write about whatever I thought, curate a nice little website where I talk about books, food, games, movies, tv shows blah blah, basically nothing too personal, I didn’t really want to write about my day to day life like a normal blog because my life is too boring and it simply felt too open. In case you haven’t noticed though, it has gotten increasingly personal because I’m under a cloud of confusion and sadness about the future and I felt like I needed to write it and just put it out there so maybe it could alleviate the weight on my mind.

So, the random thought. I started thinking, omg I wonder if my friend’s blogs still exists!? Thank god, yj and jy’s still do but nice and mine, not anymore ): So, I looked it up and read through most of their posts and I realize…damn, these posts are such great time machines. I MISS MY SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE SO SO MUCH. Nothing can compare to my experiences while I am there seriously, I already feel like the best of times are behind me. I have never had anything come even remotely close since then!

These girls are so beautiful inside and out, it makes me so happy to be their friends and I am so so so lucky that I get a front-row seat watching these girls blossom and tackle life. I know it sounds super cheesy but I’m really truly grateful to have them in my life.

Okay, BACK TO THE POINT, it made me realize, that I need to document my life, so I can look back one day, if i ever feel like I need a time machine, I’ll know where to find it. Although my life right now isn’t too exciting, I’m still gonna do it, I don’t want to look back and be like oh shit, I wish i had documented it. But i think im insane, in total i have 3 diaries, one wordpress, secondly its my notebook which I jot down my calendar and task list, briefly what happened in my day and sometimes very personal stuff AND THIRRRD, i have another diary in my onenote, this diary I usually only use when its insanely personal, very lengthy or when I feel too sad to get out of bed. My last diary only has one theme: sadness. Notebook: mundane and detailed. WordPress: a smorgasbord of color but also including grey and blue recently.

Anyways, here are some pictures, BLAST FROM THE PAST!
jiayi's pictures 296This was the first outing we ever went together, to watch a movie called Dance Subaru and our first neoprint together. 0110201062801102010629The four of us were at Yoshinoya studying. This was in Secondary 2.01230121Charis & I. Oh god, we look terrible but this was either us sneaking out late at night or in the morning to go to tavistock park, where they had swings. She was truly my partner in crime, we always did all sorts of crazy things together. She is such a good hearted person and also my first ever best friend. We drifted apart since 2012 and didn’t talk for the entirety of 2016 sadly but we recently rekindled our friendship in late 2017 when I needed to borrow a sleeping bag and gosh, its so easy to talk to her like no time has past. But now she’s got so MUCH going on, its nearly impossible to find a time where she is free or even contactable. ):BIG shots'0238My little brother and I were so playful, anytime our parents weren’t home, we’d go out and play only to come home and get severely punished. See millennials don’t just stick to our computers, but when we go outside, we get punished. The hypocrisy of baby boomers and generation X. Sorry, a little salty here but they just won’t cut us some slack.BIG shots'1107This was a whole meal we had to whip up for our home economics class. This was just ‘rehersal’ at Derick’s house though. Mee siam, popiah and kueh pie tee. I know it doesn’t look appetizing but we were all like 14 years old so, I think its pretty good! What I remember in particular about this day was while we were cooking, Leslie’s phone was playing California gurls by Katy Perry, the jam at the time, and then he changed it to teenage dream and we were like nooo this song sucks, turn it back California gurls, its better!

THIS ANECDOTE IS PARTICULARLY MEMORABLE TO ME BECAUSE TEENAGE DREAM IS THE ONE SONG I WISH I HAD WROTE AND THE GREATEST SONG OF ALL TIME TO ME. Like to think I once rejected that song is insane! My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch now baby I believe, this is real, so take a chance and don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back!BIG shots'1437Floral Paradise, the project was to design a resort island, do a video advertisement and then present it to all the secondary one students. We had such a huge blast doing this project, not that it was all fun and games though. Sometimes we were so tired and stressed, we snipped at each other, but at the end of the day we’d say sorry if we hurt each other’s feelings. AND THE CRAZY THING IS WE WEREN’T EVEN THAT RUDE TO EACH OTHER. But because these girls are so crazy polite, sweet and nice, if their tiredness made them lapsed into the attitude of a normal, well-mannered person, it would SEEM like they were being rude. And by snipped, I mean, for example I ask one of them to help me with a particular building of the island, they’d say ‘ please wait, I’m doing this part right now, I can’t help you.’ THAT’S IT, the ‘snobbiest’ they ever been.

That’s why when everyone complained about how shitty project work is in polytechnic/university, I was like huh why? It’s so much fun and you get to work with your friends! Of course, it wasn’t until I went into poly and realized, I simply got lucky that my best friends were also hard workers who respected each other’s time and contributions and were on the same wavelength creative and opinions wise.

Maybe because its still fresh and the sense of nostalgia hasn’t kicked in, but I don’t have such great memories ever since then, is it because I grew up and I don’t see joy easy any more? Did sadness decide to take over the control panel and murdered joy for fuel? What happened? Why did the roller coaster end and why can’t I get back on? I guess these will just be questions I’ll never get answers to in the back of my head. We’ll see I guess…

The main takeaway is I want my wordpress to be more personal, because you never know when you’ll need a time machine. I still want to maintain everything else (and hopefully more food posts, I haven’t been anywhere nice for a long time), especially makeup and gadgets. And with that I shall end this post. Good nacht!

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