I stumbled upon Arden Rose via Marzia’s blogpost about her collaboration Arden Rose X ohh deer. For some random reason, I started checking out her youtube channel and here are the first few distinct things i was instantly drawn too:
- Her Jessica Day (New Girl) – like personality and vibe (those bangs i wished my whole life to have!)
- Her quiet yet bubbly and bright demeanor
- Despite her innocent and light mood, she had this deep voice of reason, like someone who knows more than she led on.
In the bookstore just yesterday, and i didn’t plan to buy her book but somehow, she intrigued me and i just believed i was going to find a ‘friend’ in the story she was going to tell, so I did.
Woke up at around 11am today and was out till almost 6pm, but I had her book with me the whole time and i managed to finish it in a day! It was an easy read, like reading the very summarized over-the-years diary of your friend, you just sit through till the end!
To be honest, it wasn’t life-changing or eye-opening but it felt so nice to read another woman’s thoughts and opinions as she adults. The thought process through it all helped validate some of my innermost questions and troubles, as normal and part of ‘adulting’. In the world of Instagram, everyone is just covered in layers of ‘perfection’ and no one enjoys letting people see the gritty rougher side, the crying snotty mess that we can all sometimes be. No matter how much I pry, everyone always seems to have it together and seemingly adulting impossibly well, unlike myself, a constant fuck-up of mistakes and idiot immature moves, with burgeoning questions of what should I do with my life and what will make me happy and if I’m going to be one of those middle-aged loser whom is miserable with her life so she takes it out by just being mean to everyone who walks by!
I love that Arden tells her readers its okay as long as you keep trying and keep striving, sure this sounds basic as fuck, but the best part about the book is the introduction to her thought process! I can’t stress how important that it. You know how you don’t get marks when you don’t show your work in a mathematical question, because no one can understand how you derived your answer? It’s the same thing for those meaningful and tumblr-worthy as hell quotes. The moral of the story alone does not have much resonance because all we see is the tip of the iceberg, the major chunk of it aka the story sits so much deeper if we know how the conclusion was drawn and that’s what Arden does right!
In the book she talks about reaching that age when you realize you have to start taking things into your own hands even though you have no clue how to, so you just fuck up till you make it. Including basic things like paying the bills, cleaning the house, grocery shopping and parking. I love her and how she reminds me of the open-mindedness of millennials, being open to online dating, cultivating meaningful relationships with people you’ve never met and how much she hates homophobes. And the struggles she faced when she was younger that shaped her today, granted that topic is pretty generic but I will never grow weary of hearing them because all our struggles are ultimately different and affect us in subtle ways as we grow up and they are always profound to read or listen to. Her chapter on being sex-positive was wonderfully delightful to read because it was honest and written by someone with a progressive mind. Most people i know (like 97%?) are still disgusted or shocked at how rude i was if i were to talk about sex and i hate that. I wished it stopped being such a taboo topic, because it just gives it so much more power to ruin and erode us!
The above paragraph was just a slight gist of what the book talks about and its definitely worth exploring on your own what its got to say. I’m glad I picked up this book as it definitely isn’t a guide to becoming an adult but rather a reminder for people in their 20s to have faith in themselves and the process that they will ultimately make the best decision for themselves, unique to themselves.